The Sixth Day

Arnold Shines In Republican Future.

The Sixth Day is an Arnold Schwarzenegger epic. Its is very large, very loud, has car chases, explosions, people shooting other people and then witty things are said, explosions, more witty shootings, a cute kid, strong links to "family values" some more explosions and then - just to top things off - a few more explosions while people get shot and the hero says witty things.

There are about three mentions of "God" in the whole film and only a person who has recently had a pool cue rammed right through their head would ever doubt that the good guys win.

Somewhere - in an office - some person, after close examination of large quantities of statistics, came up with a general template that they called something like :

"The Perfect Action Film Ages 9-90, IQ range 84-110 ."

This film has been made with slavish attention to this template. This film is a motion picture Big Mac (TM) all that sets it apart from literally hundreds of other films that adhere to the same template is that great attention has been making sure that every lump of "pickle" and piece of "cheese" is of the highest possible quality.

Indeed, every single sesame seed has been polished to a dazzling lustre, and the big chunk of meat at its centre has been tenderized and massaged to its highest level of palatability in years. A Big Mac this film may be, but it is an uncommonly tasty Big Mac, so at the end of it you are left with that all too familiar feeling that says, "did I just eat?"

The story goes something like this: In the future, some bastard clones Arnold against his will, and Arnold says "I vant my live bek!" Arnold then shoots people and blows things up until he gets his live bek.

Because this film is set in the Future, "and sooner than you think" no expense has been spared in creating a believable high tech glitzy expensive looking future. A future that, (unless I am blind,) contains no black people, no women in jobs of any importance (unless hired killers with daffy hairdos count) and no poor people.

A future where women are objects and wives, and where the only non white person is a faintly Chicano looking person wearing a bandana who plays the part of a crazed loner religious assassin. This is a REPUBLICAN future and (by god) you'd better not forget it. It If you like films set in the future, this is a big budget one and nice. You'll like it. It's pretty. I wouldn't guarantee that you'd enjoy living in it unless you are white, male and rich though.

The film "borrows" heavily from every film it is even vaguely trying to be like. Any science fiction buff will have loads of fun spotting the references and in-jokes which quote everything from "Blade Runner" through to "Terminator 1". These jokes are handled tastefully and are frequently funny without jerking the viewer out of the flow of an admittedly light film.

"Light" what did I mean "LIGHT!!" I forgot! This film has a MESSAGE! This film is a serious examination of the ethics of genetic experimentation!! The message goes something like this:

"If you see zat people are cloning zee uzzer people, zees people are bad people who are against God (tm) Zees clonick people must be blown up for God, and zee family."

No. That is not a joke. As you can see this film takes all the multifarious aspects of the debate on cloning and encapsulates (although the word "congeals" would do just as well) them into a simple exposition of all the problems associated with genetics. It even provides the answers to the questions that it raises.

No. That is not a joke. As you can see this film takes all the Protesting won't work. Protesters are dirty looking and smelly.
The press are powerless.
Governments are easily bribed.
Simply assassinating evil people won't work ("THEY" have thought of that.)

If on the other hand, you are a white right thinking family man with a personal grudge you can shoot anyone and blow anything you want up, and get away scot free.

There has to be some consolation in that, for some people, I imagine.

Is "The Sixth Day" a good film? That's what you want to know isn't it? My blatherings aside, you want to know if it delivers an evenings entertainment. The short answer for the cheap seats is, yes. This is the best Arnold movie for a few years. It's as good as "True Lies." If, on the other hand you have a brain and you aren't rich white American male you may want to think about Arnold's close political ties with the US Republican Party and the Reagans and the Bushes and buy some property deep in the outback, and dig a bomb shelter and live in it until Bubba either blows the world up or leaves office. I'm considering it. But then again, everybody keeps telling me I'm weird.

Rating. 4/5. A fine Shambling Mess.

(C)opyright Alex Rieneck, 2001.